Farewell FL

In my heart of hearts, I like FL. That's because he is so predictable, a pukka soldier type, with very limited vision outside his domain. He should have done well to have retired as the army chief, with his house in zamzama and kids doing well (not counting the Kargil fiasco). But it was not to be. The gunja had to wave a red flag in front of him and the rest is history.

I also do not agree with his list of feats that he claims to have accomplished during his reign. The highlights were as follows

1. Foreign exchange reserves. Rubbish, thanks to the war on terror, hundi had to be stopped. So most of the dollars that we being sent through illegal channels, started coming through the banks. And all the cash that was sent to us by Uncle Sam, that helped too. So yes, the forex levels did go up, but it had nothing to do with him. Must add the petty cash that he claims to have added by the country acting as a bounty hunter.

2. Earthquake Relief. Is he serious? All we got were loans, there were zero grants. So he went out and got Pakistan more loans, brilliant!

3. Women's rights. I just have two words for that, Mukhtaran Mai. Thanks to FL and his beloved Special Advisor, this showed the rest of the world how we respect our women. And can anyone forget his famous words regarding immigration to Canada by getting raped?

4. Free and Fair Elections. I must point out the referendum, where he secured 98% of the vote in his favour. Bollocks!

5. Water and Power. Oh sorry, he couldn't do jack about that.

6. Lal Masjid. Oops, that was the Chaudhries not him.

The list can go forever. I am trying to recall whether he did anything good. I am sure he tried to do some good as well, but did not have the gumption to see those things to the end. My biggest gripe with him has always been the fact that he would make a u-turn on everything that he said. He said he was going to reform the hadood ordinance, before he cowered down before the mullahs. He said he was going to rid us of the Bhuttos and Sharifs, but brought them back.

The sad part is the gloom that surrounds us by the thought of his successors. But that is not reason enough to bemoan his going. We must aim for higher ideals and not accept saviours like FL who do more harm than good.

So I bid thee farewell FL, I will miss your impotence as a military dictator, your not-so-brilliant moves in the face of adversity and most of all your biographies and hope that one day in the future you will write something else which can make people laugh and cry at the same time.