Blowing up for Swat

The title is stolen from Bowling for Columbine, not that I am a big fan of Michael Moore, who I think starts off by asking the right questions and then usually reaches the wrong conclusions.

So there we have it, in the valley of Swat, the government of NWFP (Read Pakistan) has agreed to implement Nizam-e-Adal with the help of the local armed and dangerous warlords. I am not sure what that means, and pretty sure that nobody really knows what it means, but so be it.

They have tried doing this a few times before, I remember in the nineties, they wanted everyone to drive on the right side of the road, since driving on the left is synonymous with driving with Satan. Although that might mean that they would require left hand drive cars, I am pretty sure they didn't think that through.

The Frontier constabulary moved in, and everyone went back to the left side of the road.

After the state's miserable failure at trying to enforce the rule of law for a while, it has been decided that the only way to achieve peace is to give in, amen!

I remember going to Swat in my childhood. I missed out visiting Malam Jabba, which was burnt down last year by the same people who are now going to rule the valley. I do have some great memories of staying in a place called Miandum. Maybe in a few years, outsiders will be allowed to visit the valley after being cleared with having the requisite length of beard and burqa transparency or lack thereof. What will the valley offer as tourist attractions?

I think the biggest attraction will be bombed out schools, the guides will show proudly how they wiped out the dens of vice, that provided basic education to girls and then I think they will move on to bombing all schools which ensures virtue for all.

Swat is also big with timber companies, that cut down trees against the feeble writ of the government, and this new development will help in cutting down pretty much everything that is standing. That should provide some employment for the people there, well at least till they have something to cut down. After a few years, this uneducated lot, who has experience in logging, will follow their ancestors' path of moving south and bringing enlightenment to the rest of the world.

The good news is that after they have all moved out, in a few centuries people may be able to go back there and there will be no sign of them. The Indus Valley civilization had covered drains, which we haven't been able to reconstruct, so nothing will be left. There is always a silver lining to be found!